I went to see a Western, just the other night
It made me wonder had I ever really seen the light
When two lovely cowboys share one sleeping bag?
Could it be Miss Kitty on “Gunsmoke” was just a man in drag?
It makes me wonder about cowboys
I used to love “Bonanza”, lord, I’d watch it every night
But now that I look back, I think that something wasn’t right.
Those boys were never married, which way did Hoss swing?
Is that why Mr Cartwright went to town to fetch hopsing?
It makes me wonder about cowboys
I used to watch “The Wild Wild West”, boy those mens could fight
But I could never see why James would wear his drawers so tight.
They were always chasing Dr Lovelace on the loose
But Artemis was happy, hanging out in Jim’s caboose.
It makes me wonder about cowboys.
Why did the Ranger wear the mask? Did he not want you to know?
That secretly he had a place in his heart for ol’ Tanto
And why did Lucas Rifleman never wed again?
Could it be that he and Micah were much more than friends?
It makes me wonder about cowboys.
Now at night when I lay down, I can clear my mind.
I just let myself go back to a simpler place and time.
And I can see him on his horse, my heart begins to swell.
And I know everything’s okay, ’cause I see Roy and Dale.
… you know what? That makes me wonder.
‘Cause I ain’t ever met another chick named Dale.
Dale Ernhardt, Dale Johnson, Dale (??)
What do you think? (I don’t know a chick named Dale)
I don’t… oh don’t tell me that’s why he liked Trigger so much!